Mompreneur Feature: Krystina Sloan - Creator of Queen Support
Welcome to another Mompreneur Feature on Momillennial. Today's feature introduces Krystina Sloan.
Krystina Sloan is a Business Team Strategist for Diving Feminine Creatives - she is the creator of Queen Support, The Business Queen Program, and Build Your Dream Team Curriculum. She is also the proud mama of an adorable 6 year old boy, Nixon!
She has experienced having it all (husband, baby, dream house, 8 figure business), losing it all (except Nixon), and rebuilding from the ground up as she re-evaluated what actually mattered in life and healed from childhood traumas.
She is passionate about feminine and masculine harmony, embodiment work, and stepping “outside of the box” to find our own truths. She loves to support women as they share their sacred medicine with the world and allow in the next levels of abundance.
Why do you think Moms make the best entrepreneurs?
As moms we learn to roll with things, we have a plan but life never goes according to plan. Sometimes it feels like, (and this is my joke about being a mom) I get in this mode where it feels like my son is trying to destroy me. [laughes] But then I shift and realize he’s just this adorable little kid and he’s just being himself, happy and having fun. All of a sudden I get the opportunity to shift my perspective and I’ve really learned to roll with it. Being an entrepreneur, you have to be good at doing that as well.
Tell us about the evolution of Queen Support
What I’m doing now has evolved. I'm calling it “Queen Support” because what I’m ultimately doing is supporting other female business owners with their business. Usually, it’s someone who's starting to feel maxed out running their business all on their own.
They’re starting to need some support and wondering where to look. They feel like they can’t take on one more thing even if it meant bringing someone on and managing them.
So I love to come in and support them and help them really open up to receiving support in whatever way that looks like and being able to do the things they want to do without them feeling overwhelmed.
What inspired you to start your business?
The very first time I decided to start my business I was newly married. I saw my husband at the time running someone else's business and not really being treated well or making the money I thought he should.
So I had this idea that he should do that himself and run his own business. It turned in to us doing it together and it kind of took off and took over.
That was really where it started my very first business, he was good at the sales and the recruiting. I sort of just cleaned up the messes, learned how to do the accounting, learned how to do the payroll and created systems and protocols. I sort of learned as I went.
When we got divorced, when my son was about one, I just really wanted to make a business that was my passion. So that’s when I started a new business with the desire of me living my purpose and bringing my uniqueness to my business.
How has divorce affected you in pursuing your business?
That was the time I started a lot of soul-searching and really looking for what I really want. It had a lot to do with me wanting to start my own business. I had this feeling of being very hurt and betrayed. Our business dissolved. I felt like I lost everything. I not only found out my husband wasn’t being honest with me also the business was involved.
I had put all this effort into getting him to where he got and he chose to be dishonest and finagle things so I was really having to fight to have anything to go forward. There are obviously more details there but basically I decided to walk away from it and really focus on what would be good for me.
I did so much. We had over one hundred employees in different states and I played a major role. Through that, he said things to me like I didn’t actually do anything and that really got in my head.
I wanted to prove that I’m really valuable and good at business. There were so many things I had seen in “corporate type settings” of just corruption and upsetting. Things I never thought would impact me or my family and I wanted to get as far away from that as possible.
I wanted to be so far away from anywhere people choose to be dishonest or choose to not be good people and get away with it and there are people or employees that feel like they can’t say anything or just go with it.
ENTREPRENEURSHIP is trending right now, was the journey difficult or easy for you?
Actually this is where I am really grateful for the experience I had with my son’s dad and my former husband. It actually made it a fairly easy transition.
He was already very familiar with that world. He had already owned other businesses. I had never thought about owning my own business except for maybe wanting to have a salon one day because at that time I was a full time hair stylist. I loved it but I always had this itch to do something different.
I always wanted more mental stimulation even though I always loved the beauty industry but I always wanted something that would be more challenging and more using my mind. It actually made it really easy, it didn’t feel like a huge decision at that time and it was an easy transition. The business took off so quickly, before we knew it we were making a ton of money and it was all that we did, it consumed our lives.
So then when we were divorced and I had the opportunity to choose what to do it actually felt pretty easy. I had already seen that it was possible so it didn’t feel like this huge risk at that time.
you’re very passionate about EVALUATING your belief systems. How do you put that into practice as a parent?
There’s one more thing that really stands out about that is letting him express himself. It’s hard for me but so important. He has a very big presence, so much energy and a lot of people either love him and think he’s the coolest kid or are super triggered by him. He is loud, out there and already a leader but can be a little annoying. I used to feel responsible for filtering how people felt about him and I caught myself one time.
We lived in this apartment building for a little bit and we were in the elevator one day, and he would say things in the elevator with other people that would embarrass me. We were about to get out and I caught myself about to say “You need to be aware of other people and who’s around,” almost like I was going to tell him to act accordingly and think about if it’s going to upset other people or not. Then I realized “What am I doing?” I’m about to tell him he should change his behavior to appease other people and that is not what I want to teach him.
So it’s been an interesting thing noticing for myself when I might get triggered by his big personality and spirit sometimes. I have to take care of myself a bit, I get overwhelmed but then realize it’s okay he’s just being himself and I want him to feel what it’s like to be fully expressed.
What is the “Upper Limit”? And how do you help women break through it?
This is one of my favorite topics actually. I got the term upper limits from the book The Big Leap. The author talks about everyone having this capacity of how much joy we can hold, how much happiness and abundance, and when we’re encroaching on our upper limit, our mind starts to self sabotage. Our mind starts looking for problems and looking for things that are wrong.
So the book teaches you to ask the question “What is behind this concern?” It’s something I’m practicing myself and working to expand my capacity. For example my capacity to hold moving parts in my business, when I reach a milestone my mind starts looking for things that are wrong then I practice reminding myself it’s normal, this is what my mind always does and realize I actually have so much to be grateful for.
For helping women receive support, I got to a place where I felt I could be teaching about it after I hit my own rock bottom. When I first wanted to start this business I thought it would just pick up and be easy, and it didn’t and it wasn't. I was in a place of needing healing and needing to take care of parts of myself. I was very negative in my head. Even when I thought I was thinking positive I was actually thinking of the opposite.
My fears would come up and reasons why good things couldn’t happen. I reached that bottom when we were living in that apartment building and I had run out of money. I didn’t want anybody to know, I was so embarrassed. I didn’t really know what to do. At the point where I had to ask for help I had to force myself to do it. Just asking for money for my rent was so painful.
It’s crazy now looking back, at the time asking my ex husband and my mom for help and they both helped me but there was still this feeling a shame. It was good to know I could have my needs met but it didn’t feel good. There were so many things that happened in there but I finally started to believe that things could work out. I got my first eviction notice but every single month it ended up working out. I started to really see that there is so much abundance in the world. This is my thing about abundance, if you totally take money out of the equation - I was believing that I was somehow deserving to be sitting in my apartment about to get evicted, not having enough food, eating the canned beans and protein powder in my pantry. Somewhere I was believing I deserved that. I don’t actually think I deserve that. I realized I need to reevaluate what I’m thinking. It starts there with the basics and you grow from there.
Asking for help can feel so negative, how do you make it a pleasant experience for women who are ready to receive it?
I start super simple, and just ask them to be open to receiving a hug. See what it feels like to receive a hug instead of only giving. Sometimes we’re such givers we don’t know what it feels like to receive that touch or that intention.
I start with that and have them start with asking for help with something else super simple like asking to help carry a bag of groceries. Even that for a lot of us feels uncomfortable. We’re used to being so independent. Just feeling what it feels like to receive and to be cared for.
I like to start with that and expand from there. Before I have anyone hire a new team member I teach them to receive this “free” support. If you can't receive that, if you can’t receive someone carrying a grocery bag for you it’s going to be pretty hard to receive support in your business.
I have this little diagram I created with support all around us; above us is the universe, our spirit guide, our higher selves. Next to us are our friends, our tribe, our families. Below us is the earth, finances are somewhere in there, our physical bodies too. So we’re surrounded by things that support us. It’s just shifting that feeling of actually receiving and being fed and nurtured. Also allowing ourselves to feel good.
What’s a good day of being a mompreneur look like?
A day I’m totally on point is when I’m awake about an hour before my son gets up. I have time to meditate, journal, quiet and peaceful and really set my intention for the day. I am able to be mentally prepared for him to wake up and be ready for the day. Ready to surrender to the process unsteady of being in my head and thinking through my day. When he wakes up I’m totally with him, cook breakfast, play with him, go to the gym, work out, he gets to do the rockwall, come home and shower.
Right now school is out so my best days are probably when he gets to spend some time with my mom. When he’s there I have about four or five hours pre-planned. I can jump right into and surrender to my work. Just showing up and enjoying it. Then he gets home and waters plants, plays in our fairy garden we have in our backyard and we have this free flowing connection time before bed. If we’re on top of our routine it feels really good.
What does a bad day look like?
The opposite where I sleep in or he wakes up early. For me the footsteps in the hallway when I’m still in bed and I’m just not ready. I’m thrown into the day and I’m not centered or prepared. I know when I don’t pre-plan or feel like I’m needing to be planning things in my head or preoccupied thinking things or remembering things then I’m not fully present. Days when I feel overwhelmed or defeated. I’m trying to go to the gym and he doesn’t want to put his shoes on. He doesn’t want to go and I wonder should I just give in and not go, knowing I won’t feel good? Do I try to make him go? I want to listen to him and have him feel heard but I also don’t want to give up my whole day or things that are important to me, having those battles when I get in my own head and I’m questioning myself.
Something actually happened just before this, he’s actually with his dad this week and today he called me and wanted to come over. I felt this feeling that he needs me and is feeling unsettled about something so I got him but he wanted all my attention. I was feeling super overwhelmed, my headspace wasn’t there, I had all these things I wanted to do today and have lots of time to get ready for this interview. But he kept interrupting like “Mom wait, can you hold this box for me, can you hold this while I tape it?” I was getting really frustrated. “I need to go, buddy, I have to get in the shower.”
I realized he was needing something for me so I paused. I held the box so he could tape it and he was in this creative zone. I said I do need to get in the shower but what do you need before I do that? He said help with the box and that he wanted some hot chocolate. So I made it and we agreed that after that I’d take the shower. It was so cute and it just reminded me to slow down. But the really bad days are when I can’t be that. I overlook it and I end the day feeling like I really messed up. Those are the worst days.
What are some ways you give yourself grace on those days?
For me it always kicks in as soon as he’s asleep. Sometimes I’m so upset that he isn’t going to bed, I’ll feel so frustrated and then as soon as he’s asleep I’m like “Oh my gosh he’s so precious. He’s just the most beautiful little human.” I’ll get upset and short tempered but then I need to start the next day. I need to forgive myself. I look at him lying in his bed and I’ll pray for him and imagine angels surrounding him and ask them to protect him from my shortcomings. I usually try to do some sort of forgiveness meditation once in my room. Acknowledge the parts of me that were feeling frustrated. I do the Hawaiian forgiveness exercise, I’m sorry, I forgive you, thank you, and I love you. I usually do it to myself and to him then I do my best to reset and try it differently the next day. I always try to be constantly improving.
What would you say to mompreneurs who are just at the beginning of their journey and experiencing some doubt?
It really is just about taking that one next right action. You don’t always have to know the whole plan. Commit to the one action and listen to inspiration. Sometimes you’ll get an idea, listen to that podcast or call a friend, reach out to a mentor or coach. It might not be the ultimate answer but it will always lead to the next thing.
Also having my experiences I’m a firm believer in having something set in place to bring an income in now and minimize your bills and expenses as much as possible. Be super on top of knowing exactly where all your money is going and having something covering your expenses. That will provide you with so much safety, stability and ease while you go about your dreams.
If you could go back to that moment of rock bottom, knowing what you know now, what would you tell yourself?
I would tell her how perfect and precious she is. She doesn’t need to try so hard to prove her worth or suffer any more. I would just want to hold her and have her feel safe and seen and have her know she’s okay as she is.
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